SEX AND MARRIAGE
1 Corinthians 7:1-40
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”
In this discussion on sex and marriage, Paul acknowledges the sex drive but says that its fulfilment must be within the confines of marriage. Marriage is the proper place for sexual activity to take place and he advises that unless one has a special gift for celibacy, Christians should marry. Sexual immorality (that is sexual activity outside the confines of marriage) is forbidden.
Clearly marriage is more than a convenient structure for sexual activity but that is not the context for the discussion in this chapter. Even so, we learn here that marriage is permanent and is dissolved only by death. Marriage must be between those who belong to the Lord. Marriage unites two persons such that their individuality is subsumed into their union, to the extent that each party should meet the needs of the other, to please the other, even to the extent where this may conflict with the affairs of the Lord. Each should be devoted to the other as part of their devotion to the Lord.
Yet Paul does not idealise marriage in the way that modern culture does, but approaches it in very practical ways. Marriage is not an end. Being free to devote oneself to the Lord and to do his work is a good reason not to marry. Being free of the concerns and restrictions of marriage is something good. Not marrying because the times are especially bad for raising a family may be wise. But seeking marriage because it is difficult to live chastely and responsibly without a marriage partner is also a good decision.
There are tradeoffs whether one chooses to marry or to remain unmarried. Paul tells us that we should exercise our will and choose the path that we will take and God will be with us as we continue to do his will.
The broader principle that we need to embrace is that the outer framework that we find ourselves in, or that we choose to embrace, does not add to, nor subtract from, our spiritual life. Whether we are in Malaysia or in Australia or Papua New Guinea does not make a difference to our spiritual life. Whether we are married or unmarried does not make a difference to our spiritual life. Whether our spouse is a Christian or not (because we were already married when one party became Christian) does not make a difference to our spiritual life. Whether we are circumcised or we are not circumcised does not make a difference to our spiritual life. What makes a difference to our spiritual life is that we keep God’s commands (or possibly, where our knowledge is limited, our intention is to obey God).
Many Christians today seek to “know God’s will” with respect to the circumstances of their life: education, job, location, church, life partner. Others are conflicted over Christian symbols: baptism (underaged and parents forbid), sprinkling or immersion, going to church, even the display of the cross as jewellery or on buildings.
The circumstances of our life shape our experiences but our obedience to God (as we learn from Scripture) shapes our spiritual life. Paul helps us to see that we can choose our circumstances (wisely!) but we must obey God. And where our choices are limited because other people are involved, Paul reminds us that God has called us to live in peace.
“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”