Should I always try to please my masters?

I’m confused by Titus 2:9 “Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them”. I was always struggling in my previous job experience when the boss only like to hear what they like to hear but refuse to hear the truth. As a christian, I am always struggling whether I should report the truth to boss so that we all can brainstorm together to resolve problem, although the boss dislike it. Should I follow others instead and just sweet talk to please boss, without highlighting truth … To me, without highlighting truth = hide truth, but to some people, it is not “hide truth” but just try to please the master (verse above). Confused.

Firstly, let me deal with how to understand and learn from Titus 2:9 (and subsequent verses).

To me this “(A) but to show that they can be fully trusted” is the goal of this “(B) to try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them”. In other words, do B to achieve A. B therefore are examples and depending on the context, the examples may not always achieve A. So the important thing is to achieve A, rather than do B.

The key principle to what Paul is teaching is what he wrote in v12, “(C) It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”

The salvation God offers teaches Christians not to be simply driven by our desires and emotions. Instead we are to become self-controlled, honest and godly people.

So the way to understand the passage is that C -> A -> B.

This guiding principle, “C”, is the main thing you should allow to govern your actions: don’t simply do things as a result of your desires or emotions, but instead let the Holy Spirit give you self-control, so that you can be upright and godly.

In the context of a slave then, be a good slave and “try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them”.

In your case, your heart is telling you that just telling the boss what he wants to hear will not make you to be a person who can be fully trusted, even though it makes the boss happy. So in your context, B does not produce A.

But then “(D) telling the boss the truth” does not make him happy. So D also does not produce A (unless he changes).

So then the question is, can you do what the boss wants without lying about the actual situation? And this is where you go to God and pray for wisdom.

I don’t know the details of the situation that you are referring to but then:

• sometimes people do not ask for the truth but you think you must let them know anyway (you are too fat and you better do something before your body becomes unhealthy);
• sometimes the truth requires an appropriate occasion (you are in a staff meeting about sales and you want to talk about bad accounting practices);
• sometimes people need to be prepared to deal with the truth (telling your friend that her husband is cheating on her);
• sometimes the truth has to be told gently (you have at most 3 months to live because your tumour is at stage 4);
• sometimes you hold on to the truth (without lying) until the person is ready to face it (you just don’t have the talent to make a living as a musician); and
• sometimes the truth has to be told with love (son, you have done something really bad and you will have to face up to the consequences but know that I love you and I will support you as you go through this).

From what you say, the boss does not want to hear the truth (or talk about it). That is the key issue at this point and that is the area to pray over because it is not something you are in a position to do something about. But at some point, that will need to change.

So you cannot read what Paul says to mean “I must always do B” because the bible say so. You have to understand the intention. But neither can you say “I must always do D” because although the bible tells us to be truthful, that may not be what the situation calls for at this time. Moreover the bible also tells us to tell the truth “in love” (see Ephesians 4:14-15) and we need to figure out what love calls for in the situation. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is not just self-control but love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. This is where “C” comes in: much wisdom is called for to obey God each day and we have much to pray about. We should not be hasty to act.